Da Gorilla
One morning wen Kimo woke up, he looked out his back yard window an wen spahk one huge gorilla up in his mango tree! So he was all freek out an so he wen call duh zoo for come help him. Russell duh zoo keeper anwered da phone an Kimo toll him what he saw in his back yard mango tree an Russell said, he be rite ovah!
Ten hours latah, Russell showed up in his truck, an with him he wen have one mean ass dobahman pintchah, one shot-gun an one pair hand cuffs. So he wen ask Kimo, wea da gorrilla stay? Kimo said, come wit me I sho you. So dey wen go in da back yard an went ovah to da mango tree an shuwa enuff, da Gorrilla was up da tree. So Russell wen tie da dog to da tree and he told Kimo. I going climb up da tree, an wen I get next to da gorrila, I going kick da buggah out of da tree. Wen he hit da ground, da dog going grab da Gorillas Balls and clamp on. Da Gorrilla going scream an grab da dog by his muzzle. Wen he does dat, put da hand cuffs on da Gorrilla!
Kimo wen say K-den but, what da shot gun fo? Oh, das in case wen I climb up da tree an if da Gorrilla kick me out first, SHOOT DA DOG!!!